Vacation Update

Just thought I would let you all know that vacationing is going well.

Iman has been Oooook. She's had her better days, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she's away from home and her dad.

The best part is that there are SO many people to look after her. I've even been out on shopping trips while she's being looked after by her grandparents. I can sit and eat a meal and better yet, I can have a whole conversation with people without having to break it up into Iman sized portions. If it weren't for the killer heat, I think I would move back!

Hope you all are doing well.

Wedding Season + Holidayying

Iman and I are off to Karachi tomorrow to attend 3 weddings, and spend time with the grandparents.

Omair didn't get days off, so I'll be single parenting again for a while, but it won't be as bad, because we have a lot of hands back home to take care of the little one.

See you all in 2 weeks!

The cost of kids these days...

I was just sent this by my sister. Who doesn't have her own kids, but has a lot of love for the kids in our family.

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140.00 for a middle income family.

Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,896 a year, $741.38 a month, or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.24 a day! Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be "rich." It is just the opposite. What do your get for your $160,140?

Naming rights --- First, middle, and last!
Glimpses of God everyday.
Giggles under the covers every night.
More love than your heart can hold.
Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
A hand to hold, usually covered with jam.
A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sand castles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up.

You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney Land, and wishing on stars.

You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck.

You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a splinter, filling a wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always get treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first date, and first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal.

You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.

You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God. You have all the power to heal a booboo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

Potty Training Update

For those of you who continue to remain interested in Iman's potty news... here's our latest.

As you know from before... day 1 and 2 were a nightmare. We had pee all over the house (luckily I picked up the rugs).

BUT...

Day 3 was a miracle! All of a sudden Iman started telling us that she had to go, and beleive it or not, we went through almost 3 whole days without a single accident!!

On Day 6 I think we cursed ouselves. The accidents came back... but not so many.

On Day 10 things really took a turn for the worse. Now, when I know it's about time to head to the bathroom, I ask her "Iman you need to go?" and she replies "No". Then 5 seconds later, she pees on the floor.

Don't get me wrong, she does tell me on and off. I guess it's just a game that we'll be playing for a while more. But the good news for all you moms out there (those who still have untrained kids) here's my verdict...

Potty training isn't that hard. Kids do get the hang of it, as long as you train them when they are ready. The accuracy probably depends on child to child, but seeing as I was deathly afraid of this step, I can assure you all that it isn't all bad.

Now you can all sleep easy.

I forgot to cut the umbilical chord…

Over the past two years, I have done whatever I felt necessary to be a good mom. But now with all that time behind me, I feel that maybe I did “too much”. Now when I look at Iman’s level of attachment with me, I can’t help but look down at myself for this.

During the first six months I fell victim to the “she needs me” syndrome. Since Omair and I had decided that we wanted Iman to be completely breastfed, I always felt the need to be “around”. I didn’t allow myself off time, because I never knew when to take that break.

After the initial 6 months, I just kind of took over the role of doing everything for Iman. Since I had left work to be a stay at home mom, it didn’t make any sense to dump the responsibility on Omair (although I must give him due credit, he does A LOT of her). I kind of took Iman as my “job” and did all her duties myself.

Now she’s 2 and I feel that I can’t even take a minute off. Whether its mealtimes, bath time, nap time or sleep time, my presence is a MUST. Iman screams and howls when I go to the bathroom. When I am doing the dishes, she’s clinging to my legs with an “almost” whimper.

You’d think that working would have loosened Iman’s close connection with me, but I feel that it made it worse. Usually I left her crying at daycare, so later, when she was with me, she felt even more insecure, and had a greater need to “cling”.

I feel jealous of all those women who can leave their kids behind for the afternoon or even take a mini-holiday without a toddler in tow. My advice to all those new moms out there… shower your child with all your love and attention, but don’t forget to take time off for yourself, and allow your baby to have a certain level of independence. I speak here from experience, that 2 years later, you’ll regret building this “wall of dependency” around your child.