I forgot to cut the umbilical chord…

Over the past two years, I have done whatever I felt necessary to be a good mom. But now with all that time behind me, I feel that maybe I did “too much”. Now when I look at Iman’s level of attachment with me, I can’t help but look down at myself for this.

During the first six months I fell victim to the “she needs me” syndrome. Since Omair and I had decided that we wanted Iman to be completely breastfed, I always felt the need to be “around”. I didn’t allow myself off time, because I never knew when to take that break.

After the initial 6 months, I just kind of took over the role of doing everything for Iman. Since I had left work to be a stay at home mom, it didn’t make any sense to dump the responsibility on Omair (although I must give him due credit, he does A LOT of her). I kind of took Iman as my “job” and did all her duties myself.

Now she’s 2 and I feel that I can’t even take a minute off. Whether its mealtimes, bath time, nap time or sleep time, my presence is a MUST. Iman screams and howls when I go to the bathroom. When I am doing the dishes, she’s clinging to my legs with an “almost” whimper.

You’d think that working would have loosened Iman’s close connection with me, but I feel that it made it worse. Usually I left her crying at daycare, so later, when she was with me, she felt even more insecure, and had a greater need to “cling”.

I feel jealous of all those women who can leave their kids behind for the afternoon or even take a mini-holiday without a toddler in tow. My advice to all those new moms out there… shower your child with all your love and attention, but don’t forget to take time off for yourself, and allow your baby to have a certain level of independence. I speak here from experience, that 2 years later, you’ll regret building this “wall of dependency” around your child.