Friday, February 17, 2006

The Parent-Child Relationship

After having a baby, we all learn to appreciate our parents a lot more. When we face problems with our little ones we regret the things we did to make our parents miserable. But that’s the full cycle of life, which means that when our time comes to realize our mistakes, we’re too far from them to make it up. And no matter how hard we try to instill those values into our children, it’s ineffective, because you truly understand the meaning of “you’ll see when you have your own kidsAFTER you have your own kids.

These past two days have taught me that the parent-child relationship runs deeper than I really knew. As you all know from my previous post, my mom has come to stay with us and provided tremendous support and love. But a few days ago we switched roles. On Tuesday night my mom had a stroke. Being the youngest in my family I have never been on the forefront of any family emergencies, but being the only one here, not only did I have to take charge, but also be responsible. Luckily motherhood has equipped me with a sound mind and quick decision making skills.

I had just come home from a parent teacher meeting 9 at night, and the minute I walked into the house and laid eyes on my mom, I knew it was a stroke. Luckily I had taken a first aid course several years ago and I was familiar with all the signs and symptoms and without thinking for another second, I got my mom into the car and to the hospital.

The rest of the night was spent filling forms, performing tests, holding my mom’s hand as she looked helplessly at me with confused eyes, and of course silent prayer, without which, I couldn’t have passed the night.

Luckily the stroke involved a small clot in her brain that only affected her upper left side. And with the right medicine and proper care, she was much better by the next morning. The stroke has left our whole family grateful for what we have, and thankful for what we are left with. Things could have gotten much worse, but we were blessed.

I will always remember that night as one of the hardest that I had spent. I know that I love my daughter more than anyone in the world, but now I also know that there are some relationships that hold such importance in our lives, that no matter what we do to upset them, they are the ones who are closest to our hearts.

I would like to thank all our friends and family who called and came to visit. Your support has been valuable for us during these trying times.


At 10:59 PM, Blogger Lorraine said...

Oh my goodness, Hina! Thank God you knew what to do and that your mom is well on the mend. Prayers go up for her continued healing. How wonderful, in an odd way, that she was with you when this happened!

At 11:28 PM, Blogger mayya said...

Oh God! thats a terrible thing to happen to someone as loving, caring and gently as your mum :(
I really really hope that she's better now and continues to improve, inshAllah

and taking a first aid course is now one of the high priority soon to do tasks for me!

At 1:19 PM, Anonymous y2kmicrochick said...

Oh myyyyyyyyyyy!!!! My uncle just came out of the ICU yesterday Hina I understand that heart gripping fear ... and you being bang on time is just a blessing. Lots of love to you and your mother ... will inshallah remember you in my prayers.

At 1:57 PM, Blogger DariushAlavi said...

Oh my goodness! Your poor Mum!

We're sending lots and lots of positive thoughts from the UK to you and your family!

PS I've sent you an email.

At 2:42 AM, Blogger Khizzy said...

holy shit!
i hope ur mom's ok.
i remember reading abouther coming to help u...and now as i read this i freaked!
praying for ur mom's well being.

At 8:17 PM, Blogger Hina said...

Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes.

Mom is doing much better.

At 9:20 AM, Anonymous R said...

So sorry to hear that.What an awful experience it must have been.

Very impressed that you knew how to handle it and what to do.

sending prayers and good wishes for your mums safe recovery.

At 8:57 PM, Anonymous Sherrine said...

You are such a pillar of strength.
I haven't taken a first aid course, but even if I did..knowing me I would freeze and then pass out.

The whole phenomenon of role reversals is absurd, but somehow they also make so much sense. Sometimes the most helpless person in the room is usually the one you need the most.

You know I don't have my own baby yet, so I wouldn't know the feeling but, I know my mom's always running around caring for the world. In all my 22 years of knowing my mom I think she's only fallen ill thrice. And everytime she fell ill, I'm ashamed to say that I could never step up. My world comes crashing down when she can't function. It's just utter chaos in my head and all I can do is sit by her and stare at her face (that is obviously NOT gonna save a life!)

I hope I learn with time.

Happy for you that u're learning and discovering.

We all could use a first aid class:)

Praying for your mamma..
(It's so surreal that she was with you when it happened. Maybe you were the BEST person for the situation..and you did amazing well!)

At 3:48 AM, Anonymous Nina said...

In your previous blog entry I saw your Mom and looks ver tired and all. No wonder she had stroke later.

I salute you Mom who raise such a nice daughter and educate you. It's a great thing to do when one (your Mom) hasn't went to any school.

At 11:39 PM, Blogger jammie said...

i love how blogging allows us to make these connections. of you as mother having a daughter and then of you as a daughter having a mother. Hope your mom is better- and keep writing. its that ability to put down words that i think that keeps us all moving. *praying for you*


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