Sunday, January 29, 2006

The best person for the job is me

Before I start with this post, I want to make sure that all of you understand that I don’t intend on being offensive to ANYONE. I sincerely believe that everyone practices there own level of hygiene and I do not look down on people for the way they live their lives or raise there kids.

Now, onto the good stuff…

I’ve been at work for 2 days and Iman has been in daycare for the same. So far everything has been running smoothly. I think I had more anxiety than her! She was so thrilled to be with other kids. There were so many toys, so many games, and they do all sorts of fun stuff like singing time, outside play and loads of “hands on” activities. It’s potentially the best place for her to be, and did I mention that it’s only a 1 minute walk to get to her?

Amongst all this perfection is an underlying dilemma. The administration is trying to work out a contract for me so I can join the school from here on. This is actually perfect, because we could use the extra money and Iman is already having a great time at daycare!


There are a lot of things about the daycare that I am unhappy with. First off, there are 2 nannies and 10 kids (all under the age of 3). When it’s feeding time, the nannies literally “stuff” the kids, hardly giving them any time to swallow. When they change diapers, they don’t wash the kids, they wipe. And I am a strict believer in running their tushies under the tap to make sure it’s bacteria free. Then… I’ve noticed that after a diaper change, they don’t wash their hands. So the next time when they hand someone a cookie... you can only imagine!

This morning I went in after my class and my personal nanny (Hilda) said that Iman wasn’t hungry and she only ate half of her breakfast and didn’t have any milk before her nap. When I checked her water bottle, it was near empty and Hilda told me that she had had a lot to drink (basic rule… never give your kids water/juice before meals and milk… they’ll fill up and eat less).

Last week I felt I was ready to go back to work, but looking at Iman, I keep thinking that nothing is more worth my time and effort than my own child. In another year or so she’ll head off to school, and then I’ll never have this time with her again. And no matter how experienced or caring a nanny is… she’s not the mother, and no one can raise your child better than yourself.


At 9:03 PM, Blogger McMullen Family Childcare said...

I don't blame you for being unhappy about the lack of handwashing. I consider that a HUGE problem. I wouldn't use a caregiver that is gross like that.

About running a tushy under the water LOL... I do that when I have a child that is susceptible to diaper rash. However, most kids are fine with wipes only. Many wipes have a small amount of alcohol in them. Even if not, the baby should be fine until bathtime.

At 10:24 PM, Blogger mayya said...

despite not being a mum or anywhere being close to that, I strongly agree with you! The time you can spend right now with Iman is indeed priceless and that time isn't going to come back, and its not just about unwashed tushies, its more about the mother-daughter bond and the impact your care and round the clock attention will have on her later in life.

At 1:59 AM, Anonymous Jenny said...

Iman is two years old so how come she still not potty trained? My both children are trained at six months. But I always prefered cloth one on disposable one. As I hate nappy rash and its so hurtful for kids.

At 4:51 AM, Blogger DysfunctionaL said...

if I cant be satisfied with just 'wiping' my 'tushie', why should Iman be any different..

running water on them is a MUST!

At 6:52 AM, Blogger Lorraine said...

First, Motherhood isn't a competition (even though there are obviously plenty of "perfect" mothers who are happy to tell the rest of us what we are doing wrong).

Second, no one is going to love your baby like you do. And these years are indeed fleeting. With The Child's 12th birthday I've been brought up smack against how quickly she's grown and I just thank God we were able to make it on one salary so I could stay home with her. Any little thing we did without was more than compensated for by being around in those first amazing years. Work if you must (or just plain wish to), stay home if you want. You need to be happy in your life to give good things to Iman. God bless the people in the world who work as caretakers for other people's children. But Mama is Mama. And Mama knows best. You have good instincts. Trust them.

At 12:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It’s a Muslim thing. We pray five times and there is a level of cleanliness required.
So every time we use the mens or ladies room to make a deposit we wash our tush and stuff.

And as dysfunctional said “if I cant be satisfied with just 'wiping' my 'tushie', why should Iman be any different..”


At 2:04 PM, Anonymous y2kmicrochick said...

hi hina,
Noooooooobody is ever gonna do the things you want for your child the way you will. That's what makes you so special. As far as Hilda is concerned it looks like she's working hard to be a good nanny. It's much better than her not being able to get Iman to wear her clothes, eat a biteful and the rest of the magical nanny things that she managed to pull out in her mary poppins-esqe way. At least you can leave your child knowing she's taken care of. The hand washing thing .... eeww gross. If it makes you feel any better (although I don't think it will) we are exposed to unwashed hands everywhere. 3 out of 10 doctors pick their noses every half hour. How do I know this? A certain hidden camera project that exposed docors and medical students unhygenic behaviour for a study on unwashed hands. The only thing i can think of is a nanny cam. A lot of day cares are happy to install them so that all parents can check up on thier kids. If enough parents are grossed out you could maybe ask the school to make it a policy. I'm a big beliver of soap and water, detol and not touching dirty things ... i think it works coz alhamdulillah naaj falls sick less often than most other kids.

At 4:08 PM, Anonymous D said...

Well done for raising what has been a problem for far too long: in the past - and I'm writing in very general terms here - most mothers didn't have career choices and HAD to stay at home, now, economic realities dictate that ONCE AGAIN most mothers don't have a choice, but this time they HAVE to go to work and they don't have the choice to stay at home, unless they want to adapt to what they might (rightly or wrongly) consider an unsatisfactory standard of living.

It's a very, very difficult question. I suppose the first thing you must ask yourself is whether you really need the extra money teaching would bring. Even though I don't have kids of my own, as you know, I come into contact with several every day and I think that there is no substitute for a good parent when a child is very young. If both parents absolutely have to work, then I think relatives should be 'next in line' to do the babysitting, but of course, that isn't always possible either.

Another option might be to see if there's a better day care centre around. Okay, it wouldn't be as close to your workplace as this one, but maybe it would provide better care... and then, of course, there's the whole vicious circle of how much of your newly-earned salary is eaten up by daycare bills!!!

Is there ANY job harder than parenting???

At 12:30 PM, Anonymous O said...

It’s economic slavery a direct result of Greed, Usurious Interest rates, plunder by inflation and other methods used by those who don’t want the status quo to change.

But it will change...when humanity wakes up!



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