Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Learning the lessons to sacrifice for love

I think that when any woman becomes a mother, she sets out to do the most perfect job ever done. In her newborns eyes she envisions her own success as a parent, and then she works very, very hard to make that vision become a reality.

Over the past two years, I have done everything in my power to be a good mom for Iman. I’ve stayed up the long endless nights, I’ve breastfed according to the doctor’s orders, I’ve given up on my wishes and my desires, I’ve spent time playing with her, I’ve cleaned up after her, I’ve hugged her when she’s sad and kissed those bruises and cuts a million times (even after they’ve healed). I’ve sang to her in the night, I’ve smiled at the mess she’s made, I’ve stayed up all night waiting for her fever to subside, woken up at 3 am to give her an antibiotic dose. I’ve cooked meal after meal and snack after snack, keeping calories and nutrition in mind. I’ve driven to the park on my most tired days, I’ve clapped at every silly new thing she’s done. I’ve prayed for her every night. I’ve cried when she wasn’t well. I’ve read to her, making silly voices for each character, I’ve memorized every Barney song. I’ve learned to appreciate her creativity, and let go of my own desire to keep things in order. I’ve watched my immaculate house turn into a play room, with toys under the sofas and stains on the rug. I’ve smiled for her even when I was sad…

I’ve given up the lunch dates, the late nights out with friends. I’ve given up the books I used to love, magazines and newspapers. I’ve given up manicures and pedicures and massages and facials. I’ve given up fancy restaurants and dinner parties. On many days I’ve given up my husband too! I’ve given up “alone” time. I’ve given up privacy in the bathroom. I’ve given up long phone calls, I’ve also given up long conversations in general. I’ve given up a lot of myself.

And after giving up all those things and making adjustments to my life, I’ve gained the opportunity of being a mother. Something that can never be imagined, only experienced. I’ve learned that a child’s love is the most pure and unconditional love on earth. I’ve learned that without Iman, my life would never have been complete. I’ve learned that no matter how many mistakes I make, she’ll always be my baby. I’ve learned to look for smaller things in life, and laugh without any reason. I’ve learned to let my guard down and be silly when I want. I’ve learned to let go of things when they are no longer in my power, and I’ve learned new things about myself. And as I teach her so many things, I learn the most important lessons in life… from her.

10 Comments:

At 4:59 AM, Anonymous Sherrine Francis said...

You and your Iman are too cute for words

You both are gonna make me cry!

I'll blame you for the flood in my room..

ps..I've always said ->"I'll be glad to take care of my friends kids but I would never want my own."

You're the sole reason I re-think that statement.

 
At 1:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't lose yourself though. You don't have to. You can raise fantastic kids, AND have a life. Think about that and strike the right balance between what makes you you, and bringing up your child.

 
At 8:28 PM, Blogger Hina said...

thanks for coming by. Sherrine, I am glad that my blogging can make a significant difference in other peoples lives :D

anonymous...
I think all parents lose a little of themselves when their kids are so young. But the good thing is that when we lose a part of us, we gain a whole of something far more valuable and enriching.

 
At 1:51 AM, Blogger jammie said...

hinamommy. came to your blog after a lonnng time and sat and read through almost a month of entries. beats any other kind of fun reading :)

recently having come into contact with parents who make parenthood seem like the biggest hoohaa on earth, im so glad to have your take on it. with its humour and love and tribulations.

hope all is well. and hhope your mom is now doing completely well.

 
At 8:15 AM, Anonymous julie said...

after a long day of dealing with children, this entry made me see the poetry in what we do again, thanks.

 
At 4:12 PM, Blogger mystic-soul said...

Loved your blog, read for one hour.

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger Asma said...

yup...we do make a lot of sacrifices for our kids, and it makes me think back to how many our parents made for us. amazing.

 
At 12:05 AM, Blogger DariushAlavi said...

And may I say, yet again - especially after having seen some first-hand evidence - that you are a very conscientious ad dedicated Mum... and your daughter is too cute for words... and Murder Mystery Evenings are too weird...

 
At 7:13 PM, Anonymous y2kmicrochick said...

and the funniest part is .... they don't even know we do allllllllll that for them, they love us even after seeing us first thing in the morning .... when we are telling them nottttttt to put that in their mouth .... and even after coax the crayon away from them and the wall they are eyeing. They love us even though we do allllll that to them. We are blessed.

 
At 4:45 AM, Anonymous umar said...

this got to be one of the best blog posts I have ever come across. Thank you.

 

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