Friday, June 02, 2006

Taking the next step

Motherhood is very tricky. Every time you think you have it down... something changes.

The past few months have been great in our household. We've had a solid routine set with Iman, and she's happy with it, which means that we're happy with it; and when you have a system set with your child, it makes your days (and nights) so much easier. But every now and then, when you feel secure in your schedule, things have to change.

After having crossed the bridge of Iman's second birthday, we are faced with the looming task of POTTY TRAINING!!

This was a long time coming... LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG time coming.

I have been told off by just about everyone I know. The elder women of my family look at me with shame as I lug around diapers. Back home it seems that everyones kid is potty trained at birth! Here are some honest testaments of some real life mothers...

"My child was peeing in the toilet by 3 months"
"My child could tell me by a year that he had to go"
"My child had a special way of letting me know"

and my favorite...

"My child never wore diapers, I trained her from day 1"

OH MY GOD, how are these women doing it??? I am petrified of this next step. I know I have to start training her some day... and that "some day" is my biggest fear!

BUT, I have set the date. June 29th is when I start potty training Iman.

#1 Because school ends on the 28th and after that I have a solid consistent day with Iman, allowing her to pee all over the house (which is the EXACT reason why potty training freaks me out)
#2 Because on July 13th I travel to go back home for some weddings, and I will not face the grandmother duo without some training under my belt!

If anyone has any advice, please feel free to share. I think that in all my experiences as a mother, this is the one that scares the bejeezus out of me.


At 12:09 PM, Blogger DariushAlavi said...

Agreed: it's HIGH time!!!

At 4:09 PM, Blogger Hina said...

d, shut up!!!!!!!!

At 4:23 PM, Blogger mayya said...

hahahahahahaha this is too cute! :D I'm so going to refer to your blog later down the line ;)

At 12:38 AM, Blogger DariushAlavi said...

But come on, jokes aside, you KNOW it's time. And I'm sure it'll be fine. You never know, maybe the fact that Iman will be going through potty training at an older age than other kids might make the process easier, because you might be able to explain to her exactly what it is you're trying to get her to do.

May the force be with you etc etc...

At 3:03 AM, Blogger Lorraine said...

First of all, take a deep breath. Here's the good news. Iman will, I repeat, WILL be potty trained before she goes to college.

It is intimidating and all those people with the hypertrained babies? I roll my eyes. I think any "toilet training" before a certain age is really the parents being trained, not the kids.

Ok. Here are some things that worked for us:

1) If you're going to use a little potty for starters make a big deal about it. Take her with you to buy it, let her pick it out, etc. Let her pick the spot in the bathroom where it's going to be.

2) Let her get used to the chair without a potty expectation. For example, let her sit on it and look at a book while you're in the bathroom putting on makeup or whatever.

3) Start slow and keep your expectations low. (This is the part where you stick your fingers in your ears and sing "la la la" to all those other parents. If you start getting freaked out and impatient then Iman is not going to cooperate. Trust me). For starters, have her sit on the potty first thing in the morning and before she goes to bed at night. Praise her to the moon if she is successful. If not say, "Ok, we'll try again later".

4) Slowly start asking her at other times of the day if she wants to go. Some kids really love the "big kid, independence" thing of it. Some get really resistant for all sorts of reasons. Be light and breezy about it.

5) We used a star chart for The Child. Whenever she made it to the potty in time she got a star sticker. The chart was in the bathroom so she could see how well she was doing. She loved that.

6) It's probably going to be hit and miss for a while. I don't know if this is culturally appropriate for you but after about a month of spotty performance, we picked a weekend when we weren't doing much of anything. It was summer so it was warm. We just let The Child run around au natural the whole time. It was amazing. She had one accident on the floor and after that she was using her potty every time.

7) Pullups - the disposable diapers like underwear - are a godsend. Especially because it gives her more control. (When we first started The Child was still in cloth diapers with safety pins. NOT convenient for training).

8) Staying dry through the night is the last bastion. Don't even worry about that right now. From what I've seen that tends to be something that they just figure out and start doing without a ton of fanfare.

9) Good luck. I'm rooting for you. And seriously, ignore all those other people. (Toilet trained from Day 1, give me a break).

At 11:17 AM, Blogger DariushAlavi said...

Me again.

I had a brief word with L about this and she echoed one of Lorraine's statements about making a big deal of any 'successes', by using a sticker chart or some similar gimmick.

Good luck, but I know you won't need it. Iman is a bright little thing and I'm sure she'll catch on really quickly.

At 6:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Firstly, take a deep breath. Good advice. Secondly, DO NOT TAKE PRESSURE. Potty training is something that takes time. Endless time and you cannot force this upon your little one. The more pressure they feel from the parents the longer they take.

Let her roam free or in thin panties and help her to the potty for short trips every 20-30 minutes, especially after she has drunk a liquid. For number 2, I'd take her at least after breakfast and after a big meal (2 times a day). If all fails, pull ups are a way to go.

I got my daughter a toilet ring and it had sesame street characters on it. It was the best thing ever. I just showed her the ELMO on it and called her to the potty saying that ELMO wants to go. It worked like magic !, she will make MISTAKES. Be prepared. And, its okay to do that ! She's only a baby. But, kids are MUCH more smarer than we adults think. She will ALSO learn. In due time.

Hope this helps. Let me know if I can help any further. The key is PATIENCE.

At 7:40 AM, Anonymous Nina said...

Ask your Mom? How did she potty trained you!! Maybe this thing is genetic ;).

At 5:15 PM, Blogger Hina said...

Thank you all for the advice. You'll be reading the poopy chronicles shortly...


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