Re-Defining Roles

This post is dedicated to an age old problem... the joint family vs. nuclear family living situation.

Since we raise our kids in Dubai, there is no one there to influence or guide our parenting strategies, but whenever I come to Karachi, I see the flip side of the coin. It carries several pros and cons, but always proves to be a strong learning experience for me.

During this trip, Iman is a little bit older, and she has learned to use her grandparents as a defence. Initially, I wasn't prepared to handle the situation, so I always ended up looking like the bad guy. No matter how I tried to manipulate the scene, I was the "angry bad mom" who was being cruel to her child. All credit to Iman, for being able to "outsmart" me.

But in time I learned a valuable lesson. I will always be her mom, a figure of love and support, no matter how evil I may be. On the other hand, her grandparents will always hold a special place in her heart. People who can be a part of her tricks, and giggle with her when mom catches them in the act. I just have to learn to appreciate their contirbutions in her life and learn to love the role they play, because parents will be parents, and grandparents will be the ones to guide them as well as being their friends.

Instead of being threatened by the role that grandparents play, I should embrace it. I should let them nurture their bond with Iman, knowing that with them, she is in safe hands. And maybe in time, when she might not want to confide in me, she can go to them, becuase like me, they will love her just the same.