Trying not to lose hope

There can’t be any greater loss in the world than losing your own child.

Earlier this year in March I had a miscarriage. This was a baby that both my husband and I really wanted. What made it even more painful, was the fact that we already had Iman, so we knew what parenthood and children were all about. I was about 11 weeks pregnant, and it took tremendous strength to overcome my own personal grief. My friends and family were extremely supportive, and thanks to all of them, it became easier to understand and accept the loss.

Since then, I have had a deeper sense of understanding the value of our offspring, and since then, I have learned stories of couples who have suffered a pain far worse than ours.

A girl I know was 5 months pregnant with her second baby. She went for a normal ultrasound and discovered the baby had no heartbeat. She was devastated, because she could feel the baby move around inside her. When they removed the fetus, it was in actual form.

My cousin had to be induced in order to give birth to her first son, who had passed away in the womb due to unknown causes.

My parent’s neighbor was pregnant with twins, and one died at 8 months, so they did an emergency c-section to save the other one. They had a beautiful baby girl, who was with them for one week, and then she too passed away due to unknown causes.

There are countless stories of parents who have children that fall ill in their first few years, and then pass away.

The administrator at my school just lost her 18 year old son due to a hit and run accident. 18 years of raising him, 18 years of endless love and memories, 18 years of uncountable moments of pride. 18 years, that ended without her even being able to tell him that she loved him.

The world is full of grief like this. Parents who have to come to terms with losing their own children, without being able to understand why it all happened.

I spoke to my mom after my miscarriage and she told me that yes, there is nothing more painful than losing your own child. But more so, it’s important for us to understand that we don’t give life to our children, we can only give them love.