Getting kicked while you’re down (literally)

Getting to know other people with children the same age as ours has been an interesting concept. Now, we aren’t just looking at the person, but also their parenting skills. I might meet someone that has the makings of a great friend/hang out companion, but the next thing you know they say something really bizarre about the way they are raising their little one, and you can’t help but grab yours and inch to the door.

In continuation to my birthday celebrations I had a party at my place for a group of moms and their kids (all near Iman’s age). Most of them I’ve know for a few months now, but there was a new girl on the invitee list (my neighbor’s recommendation). Up front she was great. Good family, well dressed, didn’t smell. She has a 19 month old son. He was also well dressed (clothes from NEXT), looked visibly healthy and well taken care of.

It was good to know that Iman had another person to include on future play dates.

That was a first impression. Things got worse, MUCH worse.

A little into the party, the demon child (my new name for him) shows his true colors. First, he’s really violent towards all the other kids. Personally, I don’t mind if kids rough it up a little, after all, it’s healthy to let them fight there own battles. BUT in this case, read on…

First of all Iman’s already sick, so she isn’t on top of her game. But this kid actually pushes her (face down), sits on her and then starts punching her back!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD!! If my heart hadn’t stopped beating maybe I could have reacted faster and saved her from the whole experience. I ran to her rescue, obviously now she was crying hysterically, and tried to comfort her. Now you have to understand that Iman is a “people’s person” she’ll go and play with anyone. So this was a direct violation to her existence. She was only trying to make friends, but this DEMON CHILD, actually took advantage of her friendliness.

Of course shaken from the whole experience I turned around and tried to brave face it. After all, this was a new mom in MY house. I couldn’t just be rude. I was going to play in on her actions, you know… I was expecting her to say something to her son, so I could turn around and say.. “yes, we have to watch the kids, some times they can be so aggressive, ha ha ha” BUT to my surprise… she didn’t react!! Not a flinch. She just kept on talking to another one of the girls, completely unmoved by her DEMON CHILD’S violent actions toward my poor innocent little girl.

Ok, so I brushed it off as “really bizarre” and comforted Iman in my lap for the next few minutes. But then, kids will be kids, and she wanted me to put her down so she could go and play again. Against my wishes, she rejoined the group, but only a few moments later, she was pushed AGAIN (by the DEMON CHILD) this time he kicked her, again and again until I got there and pulled her up!!
Now let me just state that I am the kind of parent who doesn’t interfere with children playing. If there are some “push and shove” incidents I let them slide, because kids will learn to be gentle and aggressive in different situations. It’s all a part of personality development. So generally I don’t help Iman fight her battles. But this wasn’t a battle it was a massacre!

Obviously he’s off the play date list.

When I relayed the entire incident to Omair, he was ready to go over and kick this poor kids teeth in. I would have gladly shown him the way, but really… what do you do in this kind of a situation? I can’t hold Iman back from playing, and I certainly don’t want her to come back bruised. I don’t want to teach her to hit back (not just yet…) so what then?

How can I keep her safe, and let her go at the same time? How do you tackle perfectly normal people who are perfectly horrible parents??